Last month I sold my home of fifteen years. The home where I walked my son to his first day of kindergarten and also packed him up for college. The home where I knew my husband would never return after the day the ambulance transported him to hospice. The home where I met my running buddy (I would have missed so many 6:00am runs if Lisa hadn’t been waiting patiently on my porch), made lifetime friends, and had plenty of laughs and tears. The home in the neighborhood I loved.
Inevitably, when someone heard I was moving, their response was, “moving sucks” or, “you must be stressed.”
Nope. Actually, I didn’t experience a single moment of stress during the move. Was it a lot of work? Did it create some temporary chaos? Absolutely.
Before I’d even packed the first set of wine glasses in bubble wrap, I decided that I was going to enjoy the entire process of the move. I relished sifting through boxes of my son’s artwork ─ all the way back to his elementary school years. I spent evenings in my cluttered basement rediscovering everything I had accumulated over the years. I was committed to only taking those items that either make me smile or are essential. I chose not to hold onto anything out of a sense of obligation, guilt or the feeling that “I might need this someday.”
I happily made multiple trips to the Goodwill drop-off and sold furniture on Craigslist. Now, as I am unpacking in my new place, I can honestly say the move was a fun adventure.
We get attached to our beliefs and easily confuse a long held belief with fact. In addition to the theme of moving being horrible, do any of these sound familiar to you?
The holiday season is stressful.
Teenagers are difficult.
As I age, my body is falling apart.
Thank God it’s Friday.
Vacations are always too short.
Relationships are difficult.
Becoming an emptynester is a tough transition.
There is never enough money.
The next generation is lazy.
You can’t have it all.
It’s easy to nod our head in agreement to these statements partially because we’ve heard them so many times. However, agreeing for the sake of not rocking the boat comes with a price. Stand at the entrance of your mind as if you are the security guard and notice what you are allowing to enter. Do you really believe what you believe?
Question what you tell yourself by asking:
-Is this a fact or a long held belief that I could let go of?
-Do I want this to be true in my life?
-What are some examples of when this has not held true? (I bet you’ve had some wonderful Mondays!)
Allow yourself to buck the norm. Try walking into the office and declaring, “Thank goodness it’s Monday, this week is going to rock!”
You should have seen the reactions I got when my response to people’s negative comments about my move was “Moving is so fun, I’m loving the adventure.” People thought I was either nuts or in denial, but that wasn’t the case. I was being completely honest.
Be willing to re-check the beliefs you’ve had about yourself for years (afraid of heights? don’t like artichokes? terrible at math?). If it is something you decided decades ago, is it worth testing again to see if it still holds true, or if you can let it go.